Things You Shouldn't do at Hogwarts
by Princess of the Mer-Rebels
Summary: Things  that will get you in massive trouble at Hogwarts. Do not try this at home! Rating is borderline because a few might not be understood by younger kids.
1. Chapter 1

Things not to do at Hogwarts

Steal the Marauders Map

Force Snape to wash his hair

Steal candy from Dumbledore

Insult Moaning Myrtle

Go into the shrieking shack on the night of a full moon

Fill the pumpkin juice with Veritaserum

Use the serious/Sirius joke

Teach Peeves any new pranks

Insult a Marauder

Steal confiscated Dung bombs

Then throw them into Snape's potion

Reenact Harry Potter Puppet Pals Videos (A.N. I do not own)

Start singing songs from _Grease_ when Snape enters a room

Bring the Dursleys

Mock McGonagall

Place a repelling charm around the Marauders so they can't get within 10 feet of each other

Place a sticking charm so that the Marauders and Snape have to be within 5 ft of each other. Make it last a few weeks.

Announce to the Slytherins that Voldemort is half blood

Call Snape Batman and ask him if the Bat cave is in the dungeons

Paint the other house's common rooms red and gold

Tell Dumbledore that they refuse to send him any more lemon drops

Charm the Sorting Hat to put Slytherins in Gryffindor and vise versa.

Ban James from going near Lilly for a week

Paint the all the brooms in the school pink with lime green polka dots

Create Muggle Karaoke Day


	2. Chapter 2

More things you should not do

I do not own HP.

I should not…

Set up a blind date between Dumbledore and McGonagall

Use Parrots to deliver mail to my friends for no reason

Fill every hallway with mistletoe

Turn Snape into a bat and say it's his animagus form

Turn Sirius into a flowering shrub

Close the library (only for Ravenclaws)

Bring the Giant Squid to Transfiguration lessons… or any lessons

Take an Ouija board to History of Magic

Start a school wide prank war

Bring Fluffy the Cerberus to DADA

Force the house elves to serve everyone microwave meals for dinner

Show anyone fan fiction (especially slash between straight people)

Tell Lily she will marry James and then die

Tell James that Lilly was transformed into a house elf

Create house elf wars between houses

Flood the dungeons

Create a fake wedding between Snape and the Giant Squid

Dress up in a hot pink dress with tights and sing a love song to McGonagall

Introduce Umbrige to the merpeople in the lake

Fake Lilly's death and watch James kill himself

Give Remus a badly behaved bunny

Force Kreacher to break Sirius out of Azkaban

Tell Sirius he betrays James and watch him jump off the Astronomy Tower

Lock James and Lily into a broom closet

Force Dudley to sleep in a closet under the stairs

Lock Malfoy in the Chamber of Secrets

Transfigure Dumbledore's robes into Deatheater ones

Charm a realistic Dark Mark on somebody's arm while they sleep

Serenade McGonagall

Give Sirius a hot pink dog collar and force it on him with a permanent sticking charm


	3. Chapter 3

**Don't Own!**

_I'm not allowed to…_

Randomly burst into song

Charm Snape's clothing to be fuchsia and purple

Get provisions for the war from the house elves and hide them under your bed

Tell Purebloods that Muggle fiction books are nonfiction

Tell Muggleborns that The Tales of Beetle and the Bard are nonfiction

Harass the Centaurs

Invite Grawp to the Yule Ball

Send Snape singing valentines that won't stop insulting him

Charm everyone to only be able to sing- no talking

Sculpt a statue of Padfoot (dog form) and burn it while Sirius watches

Lock the Slytherins in their common room

Put the charm used on girl's staircases on all the staircases in the school

Lace Dumbledore's lemon drops with alcohol

Sing in the shower… with a Soronus charm on me

Invite the Basilisk in the COS for tea with Hagrid

Polyjuice into Snape and hand out candy

Polyjuice into McGonagall and give Snape a years worth of detention

Transform Malfoy into a ferret

Blindfold a Sirius Fan girl and make her kiss the Giant Squid

Create casual Fridays

Create Muggle movie night in the Great Hall and force Slytherins to be there


	4. Christmas Special

_**Christmas Version!**_

Sorry if you don't celebrate Christmas! I thought these should be together.

Thanks for Reading!

**I don't own!**

_I should not…_

Dress the house elves in Green and Red uniforms

Have the house elves make toys

Ask Dumbledore where his sleigh is

Hitch a sleigh up to Prongs (Animagus form)

Give Umbrige and Snape coal

Tell Muggleborns that Dumbledore is Santa

Ask Dumbledore if his real name is Chris or Nicholas

Make everyone wear Green and Red for the Holidays

One word… Mistletoe

Tell everyone the Nargles will come from the Mistletoe and eat him or her

Give Padfoot dog treats in the shape of Christmas trees

Ask if the Potion you are brewing is acceptable to give to Santa when he visits

Sabotage the Christmas decorations on Christmas Eve… make it unable to be fixed magically

Give Dumbledore Cookies on Christmas Eve

Ask McGonagall if she's Mrs. Claus


	5. Authors Note  SRY!

Hi! I'm sooooo sorry to do an authors note! I have been out of town so I can't update and now that I'm back in school my teachers have decided to give me massive amounts of homework. I promise to update as soon as I have the time!

Bye!

-M


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